If Life's a Bed of Roses...why is my back aching

Do you find that some days you'd just like to be mean? You know it's not good for your heart and your soul but it will really helps your frame of mind sometimes. Now I don't mean MEAN...violent or profane(although I've been known to get a little potty mouth from time to time) or to ever physically hurt someone(although I would like to slap a few folks)or be destructive(although I did kick a dent in my car door when it slammed on my finger) and lord knows I would never say out loud some of the things I'm thinking(although I've written them down before). But sometimes, it becomes a survival thing...you know...if you don't do something, your head's gonna blow up. Now, that could be bad, not to mention messy. So I'm just giving fair warning to anyone reading this that this may...just may not be a good day to cross my path. Now I know you're shaking in your boots and skerred but I felt it my civic duty to let you know. ALRIGHT...what just happened....as I wrote the last word the screen went blank and a big RED error label started flashing. I knew it, I've always believed that these *$#!@ machines weren't of this earth. And you know what!!...I just stuck my tongue out at this screen and I'm gonna cut it's butt off when I finish and if it comes back on I'm gonna lay it in the middle of Highway #311 in front of Paint Bank General Store and laugh when a logging truck runs over it and drags it's little bitty unrecognizable parts all the way to Lewisburg, W.V.!!!!!!! Whew...Mama...Boy do I feel better. So I guess it's safe...I've been cleansed. Y'all can come on to Paint Bank now...I won't bite. Then,when you come out of Paint Bank General Store just walk across the street and say Hey...I'll say Hey back at 'cha. You'll know me, I'm the one with the Fairy Princess outfit and magic wand in her hand, singing It's a Wonderful Day in the Neighborhood.