Java Jumble hope you crumble

At my age it doesn't take much to make me happy. I use to be high maintenence but now just the fact that I'm still breathing when I wake up in the morning is a plus. But there's one thing that I require and will always require and that's my morning coffee...Java juice, elixer of life, nectar of the Gods, Go jo, you get the picture. Unlike me, my old coffee pot died and so I bought another simple drip machine...you know, the one with the two names and preceeded to fill it with the good smelling brown miracle dust and water. Cut that sucker on and stood there let the extasy surround me when that aroma fills my head with all things on earth that are good. Put a little sugaa and cream in my same cup that I've been drinking out of for 17 years and proceeded to pour that black liquid gold via that every morning route straight into my cup. Well OMG, no sooner than I had started pouring, it started dribbling all over the counter top and running down on my bare feet. What the What!! Upon opening my eyes and glancing down at the pot, I noticed a strange thing...a squared off spout. Sweet Mother of Pearl. What kind of stupid, life robbing piece of no good nanew dirt would invent a square spout. What was he thinking(a woman would never do that). Didn't somebody say to him "John, brew up some of that good java you make and let's toast your new design, and when they poured the feakin coffee they'd have seen the BIG DESIGN FLAW running all over that burled maple board table and someone would have fired John's butt and his wife would have divorced him and his kids disowned him and he'd be homeless and he' would have gotten what he deserved. But NOOOO, nobody tested it...they just manufactured it, boxed it, shipped it to a store near you and thousands of people bought the sucker(I know I'm not the only one). What's more, I know there's a bunch of you with coffee stained toes, too that are just dying to take a whack at this bozo . So tell you what, come to The Swinging Bridge Restaurant...have a cup of coffee from a regular , correct-pouring coffee pot and discuss the fact that it must be another terrorist plot to slowly torture Americans and get our proverbial goat. And while you're there, walk across the street to The Depot Lodge and say hey...I'll say Hey back at cha. You'll know me... I'm the little ole woman with brown toes, an Uzi strapped to her back and a shirt on that reads "Revenge is the perfect way to start the morning"!